Friday, March 8, 2013

You may be a hot head when. .

After writing  my SAHM post I was sent a message by someone who posted the same E-card. In their message they were apologizing to me for hurting my feelings. The thing is, I didn't even know that person posted the E-card. It got me to thinking. After a few harsh comments on my post from others, I've decided to step back and read that post again. 

I can definitely see where I look ignorant at parts. I really should have waited a day before posting and going over it rather than posting it while I was seeing red. I should have gone into more detail on things and what I was meaning by it. 

If I was still living in Lincolnton, I wouldn't think two seconds about leaving my daughter at Mrs. Barbara's. I've known the family for years. I also know that even though her daughter and I used to fight and bicker like crazy, that never once has she ever been anything but nice to me and my family. Those are values that I need to think about and be showing Selah rather than me getting hot headed and hurting innocent people in the crossfire. There are good daycare's and bad daycare's. I just don't trust any daycare but Mrs. Barbara's. Going into detail as to why, I don't trust anyone with Selah that I don't know. She's only been left with four people. Ever. Never for more than two hours. I'm just very overprotective. This comes from my struggle with staying pregnant and from a few people I know personally who were sexually abused while left with a sitter.  

If for some reason something happened and I had to go back to work, I would do what some of my friends do and leave my child with another SAHM. This way they are getting more one on one attention. I'm not against this. I even watch other children in my home during the day. So please don't think I am against this. I know a few moms who have to work and this is what they do. They feel it is the next best thing to them being able to be with their child, and I agree. 

I was lucky enough to have a mom who was able to stay at home with me. She sent me to Wee Wisdom two or three times a week just so I could interact with other children. Mrs. Reesie is the best lady. I don't know how she never raised her voice at children, but no matter what, she always used a sweet tone and never spanked. My mom sent me to school when I was old enough. Even though I was around her when I got out of school, I can honestly say that I was very influenced by other students and teachers at the school. I was embarrassed to pray before I ate at school. Even though we prayed daily in my house, I was embarrassed to do it at school.  Maybe it is because I was easily influenced, maybe it was because I thought it was the norm. I remember in High School I thought my mom was crazy and that everyone else knew more than her. Gosh was I the idiot. Looking back, my mom has to be one of the smartest people and all she ever wanted was the best for me. 

I don't look down on those that choose not to stay home. If you ever get the chance, do it. If you're lucky, it will change your life in so many ways. My husband and I are choosing to homeschool. If we were in Lincolnton still it may be different, but we are not. Sometimes I miss knowing almost everyone in my town and knowing that if my daughter acts up that I will be getting a phone call. Heck, my mom got several phone calls about me. Haha! Before I would even make it home from school, I was in trouble. That doesn't happen in Savannah. Savannah doesn't have the close knit relationships like Lincolnton does. I'm not related to every other person here in Savannah like I am in Lincolnton. This I should have gone into on my post to help specify.

I still have my reasons for wanting to home school though. I want Selah to be able to learn more than I was able to learn in school. I want to be able to go into more detail about the wars and the Holocaust. I don't even remember learning about the Holocaust in school. Drew and I have been reading and watching documentaries on it and teaching ourselves about it. I want her to know that guns are ok as long as they are used in the right way. Now days kids can't even say the word gun at school. I want Selah to be able to pray when she wants to and not be looked down or sent home for it. There are so many reasons I have, but those are just a few. We are even considering putting Selah in private school when she gets to High School if I feel that I can't teach her all she needs to learn. My goal is to have her graduate at 16 and then let her go to community college before regular college. 

If you are wanting to start a family and also want to stay home, do what my husband and I did. Get rid of as much debt and bills as you can. Don't break the bank buying up frivolous stuff. It took a lot of work, dedication, and sacrifices for us to get to where we are. So go ahead now before it is too late and start doing away with debt so you can stay home. I was blessed that we thought about that in time so that I can stay home now. My husband works his butt off daily for our family. I'm so thankful that he is such a selfless person. So please don't think that it is simple for me to stay home. It isn't. We do without a lot, but it's what we want and choose so we don't mind. Also, I never said that I have the hardest job on earth. I said that working moms do not do the same thing as stay at home moms. 

I was told I was "ignorant" about my breastfeeding paragraph. I just want to say, if you have time take an hour out of your day and research breastfeeding. People look down on breastfeeding and think it is for the poor. Women were being told that they shouldn't have to breastfeed. There was an entire movement on this. I know that Netflix had a documentary on it. That's why there is just now information coming back around on breastfeeding. When formula first came out companies pushed and pushed it. Go watch some of the older formula commercials. Now people think formula is the norm and breastfeeding isn't. Women were being told that they shouldn't put themselves back that they have worked this hard to get their rights and that breastfeeding is a thing of the past. Once I find those documentaries I will post them. 

I also want to say that next time I have a baby I will be double pumping and donating my extra milk to the milkbank. I'm so glad that these are coming around. I'm also glad that more and more women are coming together and having breastfeeding sit ins. Hopefully more women can become educated on breastfeeding and the benefits of it. 

So if I hurt you with my post I am sorry. I was hurt and trying to defend SAHM and by doing so I hurt people. Definitely not my intentions. A fellow Army Wife/SAHM/Homeschooler told me, "as long as the reason you do it is good enough for you then everyone else's opinion doesn't matter." I need to take this and learn to let go of all the negatives people give SAHM. No matter what I do there will always be someone who looks down it. So if you are doing what you think is truly best for your kids, you are doing the right thing. :) Hopefully this cleared up some things. Lesson learned, wait 24 hours before posting a venting blog. 


  1. Wonderfully said and written Tricia.

  2. You and I see eye to eye on sooooo many things! Wish you were closer! And I certainly wish others were more educated about breastfeeding. It seems that's what ppl asked me about most soon after I had Owen. And no one expected it to last. We are now at 7 months and still going strong. :)